My girlfriend put me in the penalty box

My girlfriend Lauren recently made mention that my blogs have not included as many "true stories" from my life as they did previously.  There are stories that I would like to share but I often do not because they involve others who may not appreciate me posting a story that is true to them as well.  Most of the lessons I have been learning find their roots in interpersonal conflict.  Someone says something, I disagree, a "discussion" ensues, I take time to seek out God, God speaks to me about certain issues and then I tell the "other party" what I have learned and we resolve to move on.  However, I am going to totally disregard everything that I just wrote and tell a true story from my weekend.

Lauren took me to my first live hockey game.  I enjoyed the game, hoped for fights (because that's the Christian thing to do) and ate unhealthy food.  Perfect night for a guy.  One of my friends asked me, "How did you go that long without going to a hockey game?"  I answered, "Very simply.  I never went to one before." My father's side of the family is Canadian and German.  Despite most Canadians' affinity to hockey, there was no affection for the sport from my family.  As far as culture for my dad's side, it just meant that everyone went by their middle names and ate sauerkraut.  Hockey didn't seem to fall on the radar.

Lauren does what most girlfriends do at sporting events: she talked.  I'm okay with that because I like talking to her.  She's funny and she gets the way I think.  She's not afraid to disagree with me or challenge me, which is important.  I have been told by a lot people that I intimidating to confront.  I'm not sure if that's because I have a broad chest and a bald head and an earring (Mr. Clean basically) or because I am always up for a debate or because I'm a cry baby, but Lauren is good at calling me out.  It annoys me sometimes, but she is typically right and is getting better at lovingly putting me in my place.

So Lauren and I are talking and I say, "I'm thinking of creating a website for me."  Lauren replied, "For what?"  I replied, "For my blogs, my sermons, so people can book me to speak at a church or an event or something.  I also think that I should have a Facebook fan page so people can like it and I can get subscribers (I think I said followers, but I meant subscribers) so more than 26 people read my blog."  She then asked, "Isn't it God's job to do that?"

That totally annoyed me.  "Lauren, if I had a lawn mowing business, would it be wrong for me to promote that?  Should I just expect Jesus to magically bring me lawns or customers?"  Lauren, sensing she hit a sore spot, backed off.  She said, "Okay, Stephen, do what you think is best" which means "I still think you're wrong but it's not worth the argument because we're out having fun."  I was not going to let her put me in the metaphorical penalty box with a closer like that.  "Fine, I won't build the site or the page."  I was annoyed because she had burst my bubble and she was annoyed because I was acting like I was five years old.

Lauren and I have been agreed that when we sense an argument coming on that we get right to the root of the matter.  Basically, we have agreed to ask the other what we are really arguing about.  I took the opportunity to explain how I was feeling.  Pointing to the minor league hockey players, I said, "You see these guys sitting on the bench?  They all probably dream of playing for the NHL.  Everyone has dreams and everyone takes steps towards living those dreams out.  Just because my dream involves Jesus and preaching, I'm not supposed to do anything to advance?"  Lauren responded with, "Well all these guys are in the minor leagues so they can prepare for the major leagues, right?  If you don't have all the growth and experiences of being in the minor league, how can you prepare for the majors?  How are you going to counsel married couples when you're not married?  You can't do a marriage series yet, Stephen," she said with a chuckle.

"I feel like you just want to arrive at where you want to be and where you know God will lead you.  Why are you in such a hurry?"  BAM!  She got it.  She was right.  Through our conversation, she was able to correctly identify that I was lacking satisfaction with where I am in my life currently.  I am so focused on what God is going to do and how I would like to serve Him that I am missing the blessing of the journey of growth and maturation in my faith.  She lovingly pointed out that I was more focused on myself and not on the Lord.  And after she did this, she encouraged me by highlighting the things that God has blessed me with thus far.  I mean, there's a reason why I am dating Lauren.

As she spoke, God reminded me of the verses that talk about waiting (Isaiah 40:31) and being still (Psalm 46:10).  "Ugh, God I just want to do this thing.  I just want to get out there and do the work."  The Holy Spirit reminded me of David, who in 2 Samuel 7 went to build the Lord a house because he felt that the ark of the covenant should not dwell in a tent.  David's desire was to do something wonderful for God, but the Lord told Nathan to stop David from building the house.  God basically says, "Since when did I ever ask to live in a house?"  While God recognized that David's motives were love and excitement about his King, God did not want anything done that He had not commanded to be done.  The Holy Spirit said that I was being like David.  God had not told me to build a website or a Facebook "fan page."  We often think that sin is not doing what we have been told to do.  Sin is also doing something that we have not been told to do.

Lauren is a wonderful woman and her insight, discernment and mercy point me to the Lord.  In fact, had she not confronted me about my motives I may not have heard the prompting of the Holy Spirit in that moment.  We ought not to move forward without the Lord's promptings.  Haste does not just make waste; it can be sin as well.  Doing something for God that He hasn't asked us to do can have serious consequences, just like doing something that He has told us not to do can as well.  God desires obedience more than He desires passion.

So for those of you who prefer the conversational true stories from normal life, this one is for you.  So, um, yeah.  True story.