Lonely people, prisoners and sunburn.

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Psalm 68:6, New International Version - "God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners in singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched earth."


God sets the lonely in families.  Another translation reads that he sets the desolate in a homeland.  It is very easy to read over this verse and not appreciate the intense implications of the Lord's heart towards His people. We learn a great deal about the Lord from this one verse.

Firstly, for the Lord to set the lonely in families or the desolate in a homeland, He must intimately know the details of our lives and then take action regarding those details.  Without much theological research or debate, we are able to combat the heresy of deism.  Our God did not create the world and its inhabitants and then remove Himself from active intervention in the world.  He is actively involved in humanity and is very much aware of our inner thoughts and meditations.  How can He know who is lonely or who is desolate without actively searching our hearts and hearing our thoughts?  The word "set" is a verb and in this context it means "places."  God places the lonely in families.  God is doing something and someone who is inactive cannot be doing something in our lives.  Within the first two words of the verse we are able to make some major theological assertions: God is active and God knows the emotions, thoughts and experiences of humans.

God's action of setting the lonely in families suggests that God Himself desires that humanity exist in community. God does not desire isolation for people.  Notice though that God does not set the lonely in any type of community.  The Scripture does not read that God sets the lonely in a workplace or a commune.  No, God sets the lonely in families - the closest and most intimate of sociological units known to man throughout history.  God does not simply desire us to be in community with others, but He desires that we would participate in an intimate fellowship of deep bond to others that breeds love and acceptance.  While no family is without its quirks and its problems, the notion of family implies a sense of permanency as well.  No matter how much a person dislikes his sibling, he and his sibling are family forever.  Yet we must remove sin and any result of human error from our understanding of this verse because God did not define family as dysfunctional.  God sets those who are lonely, without companionship or sense of belonging, in permanent groups of intimate connection with others where acceptance and love are the major forces uniting those involved.

I am not sure how many readers have spent time in prison, but God led me to spend a couple summers in prison (relax, I was doing ministry).  Prison is awful.  Those involved in the politics of corrections will say that prison is free food, gym equipment, shelter and a mattress.  I can conclude that if forced to choose between prison with all its supposed amenities and homelessness, I would choose homelessness.  Prison is a place filled with spiritual darkness, psychological distress, and demonic presence.  There is a heaviness in prison that weighs upon its prisoners.  This heaviness causes emotional distress, great depression and high levels of anxiety.  It does not cause singing.  Readers can rid their minds of chain gangs singing "Old Man River" to encourage one another.

Yet the Scripture says that God leads forth the prisoners in singing.  Once again, we see the first two words ("God leads") of the phrase indicate that God is active in the affairs of humanity (not adultery, the events and on-goings).  The inclusion of the word "forth" in the verse really impacts the implication of the verse.  God could merely have said that He leads the prisoners in singing.  Most of us are are okay with the choir director image of God.  Yet in context, the word "forth" indicates that God is leading the singing onward and possibly onward from a place of inaction or concealment.  In a ordinary sentence, we might say "The murderer came forth from his hiding place."  The idea here is that something or someone comes forward or moves onward from a place where he or it were concealed or unknown.  Singing in prison is unknown, yet God inspires and leads singing out of darkness and hiding.  The implication in the verse is that these prisoners are perhaps some type of religious captives, those who are innocent and yet are held against their will or those who have repented of their malicious ways. We understand this implication based upon the concluding phrase of the verse described below.

The rebellious live in a sun scorched earth.  I am not sure how many readers have spent time working in a sun scorched earth, but it is awful.  When working in the hot African sun of Rwanda, many of my team members began to feel faint, dehydrated and nearly lost consciousness.  Their bodies were weak, feeble and unable to accomplish the work at hand.  There is no shade in a sun scorched earth, no place to find respite and refreshment.  There is never enough water to quench the thirst of those dehydrated by the burning sun.  Though those who rebel against God, who disregard His truth and His righteousness, may appear to prosper, their lives are like those who toil in a sun scorched earth.  Their spirits cry out for relief and they find none.  Their souls long for respite, but there is no rescue.  God does not do this out of His cruelty.  If God were genuinely cruel, He would not set the lonely in families nor would He lead prisoners in singing.  He does this to lead the rebellious to repentance.  We see such stark contrast between the conditions of those who honor God and those who disregard God not because the righteous ought to be proud they receive mercy, but to humble the righteous because they received a family when they ought to have received a sun scorched earth.  He also does this to appeal to the rebellious by revealing that paths of rebellion lead to death while paths of righteousness lead to peace.

From one verse we are able to understand so much about our God.  He loves family, He loves unity.  He delights in Sunday dinners and small group meetings.  He loves to see intimate communities fueled by acceptance and love.  He can lead people from the darkest of situations and the pains of oppression to singing.  He brings out hidden praises from the concealment of suffering.  And He does not delight in rebellion and sin.  He hates it and allows those who delight in sin to experience the harshness of sin's wages: death.

As a man without much family, as a man who has spent time praying with prisoners and leading worship behind bars, I thank God for His undying affection for His children.  I pray the rebellious repent from their sin so that they may experience this genuinely overwhelming love and mercy.  And I am thankful that God has worked in my life, because I am no greater or better than those who labor in the sun scorched sun.  Without God's active intervention in my life, I would be the union foreman of the sun scorched labor party.  True story.

Satan sucks

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When confessing sin to God yesterday, I was deeply troubled.  The Bible talks about having a "contrite" heart before God (Psalm 51:17).  Contrite can be defined as sincere remorse, desiring atonement, worn down, and crushed.  I felt crushed by my sin, totally disgusted with my flesh and my desire to do anything but please the Lord.  "The wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23).  When we sin, we earn death, sorrow, pain, misery and offensiveness.  We have submitted a time sheet to Satan, he approved it and sent it to payroll.  Sin is the agreement with the devil that his way is more convenient, effective and desirable than God's prescription of righteousness.

In my prayer, I recognized a parasitic relationship exists when we choose to sin over obedience.  Parasites are organisms who live at the expense of another organism.  For instance, mosquitoes have a parasitic relationship with humans and animals.  They drink our blood for nourishment, but may leave the bitten mammal with disease (i.e., malaria or West Nile Virus) or a raised itchy sore.  The bite victim has been harmed for the good of the parasite.  A parasite can live in the intestines of a human or animal, feeding and thriving while causing its host serious illness.  Parasites are not typically friends with their hosts, but cause them harm and suffering.  There are some organisms called parasitoids, which actually cause the death of their host.  They have relationships similar to parasites because their life hurts the host, only these suckers actually go for the eventual kill.

Similarly, sin allows for a parasitic experience between Satan and his demons and the sinner.  When we sin, the evil spirits and forces of darkness thrive off of our disobedience.  The enemy, though judged and defeated, finds life in our death.  He is a blood sucking parasite, longing to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) the life source of our spirits.  He hates God with all of his condemned being and he hates what God loves.  Because God loves His creation with an infinitely abounding love, Satan hates all His creation, especially those who serve Jesus.

When we sin, our sin feeds the demonic.  We have made an agreement with Satan and his demons, if only a momentary one, that sinful conduct will satisfy us more than the righteousness of God and His love.  The more we choose to sin and disobey God, the greater the demonic stronghold of the sin in our lives.  Our sin quite literally feeds the demonic and welcomes the presence of spiritual forces of darkness.  This is why the Scriptures tell us to resist the devil (James 4:7), to flee from temptation (1 Cor. 6:18), and to avoid all forms of evil and immorality (1 Thessalonians 5:22).

Satan sucks.  He offers the bait and switch.  We make the mistake of trying to achieve often a good thing (pleasure, enjoyment, fun, etc.) but doing so outside of the means by which God has allowed.  Instead of finding genuine pleasure or peace, we have instead earned death.  The power of the demonic and sin in our lives will be lost when we starve it through obedience to the Scriptures and the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  Our lives cannot be marked by this Satanic parasitic relationship, but by love, the fruits of the Spirit and spiritual growth.

There is another type of relationship amongst organisms called a symbiotic relationship.  Rather than one organism being hurt while the other thrives, both thrive due to the relationship.  While I do not believe that God needs humanity to thrive, His Kingdom on earth is advanced when we feed on His word (that means read the Bible) and His fellowship (that means spend time with Him).

Satan is a parasite.  He is a parasitoid.  He feeds of our life, to our detriment, and goes for the kill.  Jesus came to offer us life and fullness thereof.  Thrive off of the nutrients of God and His Word and let the parasite the devil and his sin starve.  True story.

Putting on our thinking caps

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I was driving to the gym today, listening to Lecrae and allowing my mind to wander a bit.  After daydreaming about becoming a famous Christian hip-hop artist with my friends Shiwan and Micah, my thoughts drifted to my childhood.  Uncertain as to the cognitive bridge between Lecrae and my childhood, I followed my stream of consciousness to the river of childhood recollection.

I recalled a time when my dad took my brother and me to a World Wrestling Federation (long before the days of World Wrestling Entertainment) event.  He had purchased (or stolen) floor seats for the three of us.  My brother and I were avid wrestling fans as children.  Many of our Saturdays were spent wrestling each other, imagining that we were wrestling superheroes with finishing moves.  As a fan of Big Daddy Cool Diesel who would later become the New World Order's Kevin Nash, I would often "power bomb" my little brother into the mattress and win the match.  My dad would sometimes get in on the action, always designing each match for my little brother to claim the victory with a "Stinger Splash."  I remember one time my brother jumped off of my dad's shoulders while my dad was standing up.  His head smacked into my abdomen and nearly knocked the wind out of me.  My brother clearly went for the pin and won.  My dad felt badly, laughing at the coolness of my brother's finishing move but he was also concerned that I was okay.  Despite my pain, I was impressed by my brother's agility.  My dad brought that story up for years to come and if he and I were still talking, he would still bring it up.  These details might seem silly or foolish to you, but they constitute the few good memories I have with my dad and my brother.

Lecrae, I am not sure how your music got me to these memories.  Perhaps it is because your music creates an environment where the Holy Spirit loves to dwell.  I remember reading a book by John Eldredge called Waking the Dead, where John mentions that we should not ignore the memories that come to the surface of our consciousness when we are before the Lord and feel the presence of the Holy Spirit.  John mentioned that we should allow the Holy Spirit to speak to us about these memories, to heal, teach, forgive and so on.  As these memories came to the surface, I felt a longing in my heart.  "God, I long for good times with my dad and my brother again."  Unfortunately, those times cannot happen due to circumstances that are beyond my control.   However, it is important that I speak to God about these longings.  It is vital to my emotional and spiritual well being that I do not bottle up these emotions and desires.  Rather, it is wise and spiritually healthy for me to admit they exist and speak to the Lord about them.

In our holy and reverent view of God, we often forget that He listens to our prayers and thoughts just like a good earthly father does.  He does not have a "holiness strainer" in which only the holiest of thoughts or the specifically worded prayers reach His throne.  We can be honest with Him and enjoy the intimacy that comes with a Father and child relationship.  This is one of the many implications of Christ's words that we ought to have childlike faith.  I have listened to little children pray for the welfare of all the puppies and kitties in the world.  God hears those prayers just like He hears the holiest of supplications.  I find rest in the notion that God lends His ear to my puppy and kitty prayers, that He hears me recall stories of my childhood and that He identifies with me in my suffering and longings.  In return to my prayers, He speaks to me.  He grants me peace.  He blesses me with rest for my soul.  He eases the pain of desires unmet.  In the beauty of the green pastures beside still waters, He restores my soul.

When memories surface in your mind, we shouldn't ignore them.  We shouldn't flee from them.  Some of them may be directly from God.  "My child, I want to heal you here" or "I would like to discuss this matter with you."  Some of these thoughts might be from the enemy, accusing you of being a certain thing or perhaps telling you that you'll never change.  He might bring up sin from your past and say, "How can a person who did that be loved by God?"  We should not ignore that thought either.  We can speak the truth of the Gospel, that the blood of Jesus has paid your sin debt and that you are a new creation in Christ Jesus.  We can then pray that the truth of the Scripture would fill our hearts and minds.  Perhaps it will not be the Lord or the enemy who brings a thought to the surface but a natural sequential order of thoughts will occur.  My thoughts of touring with Micah and Shiwan were a natural result of listening to Lecrae's music, not divine revelation from God (at least I think).  We cannot ignore those thoughts either.  We bring all thoughts, the good and the bad, to Jesus.  We ought not flee from a certain thought or desire because it may be painful to encounter.  Those are the thoughts we should especially bring to the heavenly throne of God's love.

When I was discussing this blog topic with Lauren, she challenged my initial supposition that all thoughts that come to the surface out to be examined.  She said, "Some thoughts are to be pushed far from your mind." And she is right.  One of the caveats here is that accusatory and sinful thoughts ought not to be dwelt upon.  We ought not focus on those things that will injure our relationship with God.  The primary lesson here is to bring all thoughts to the Lord, not away from Him or His standards of righteousness.


Lauren can recite the following verse without stumbling.  In fact, she can do it so quickly that I often wonder if she is speaking in tongues.  She's not (unless I am interpreting them).  She just knows the importance of having the Scripture engraved in our hearts and minds.  I will end with the highly relevant verse she reminded me of tonight.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things" (Philippians 4:8 NIV).


True story.

The divinity of pain

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There are those unsettling moments in our lives when we are overcome or confused by the problem of pain.  Pain places our relationship to God in an interesting place.  Pain shifts our position of comfort and pleasure to position of uncertainty and curiosity.  Lord, You saw this pain coming.  Is this pain caused by my own ignorance and flesh?  Have I offended you and I am experiencing the discipline of Your corrective hand? Am I under oppression or assault from spiritual forces of darkness?  Is this pain a result of living in a fallen world?

Christians from different denominational backgrounds would answer these questions very differently.  My liberal friends would tell me that pain is a part our "faith journey" and that my pain exists because I have too conservative of a view on God.  God wants me to be happy so if it causes me pain then it must not be of God.  My conservative friends would tell me that my sin has its consequences and that pain is the consequence of living in a fallen world where I have not yet achieved spiritual maturity to enjoy pain rather than find it uncomfortable.  My charismatic friends would say that the enemy is oppressing me because of a spiritual attachment that I have as a result of an unresolved relationship from three years ago, but perhaps through prayer and fasting the Lord will break this cycle of sorrow and trial.  My Pentecostal friends would say that I have not fasted enough to find the real reason of my pain, but time tarrying at the altar with the prayer team elder will result in a Holy Spirit led revelation of my inner rebellion revealed to me through the interpretation of tongues spoken by the Chief Prayer Warrior of the 3rd Degree Apostleship Program.  Each of these perspectives offers some truth and some falsehood, some meat and some bone.  I use exaggeration (hyperbole even) to make the point that going to others for counsel is often of benefit, but often causes more confusion than it does healing.  I have resolved in some matters of pain to keep my number of counselors few and to spend most of my time before the Wonderful Counselor.

So much our emotional and spiritual pain is caused by relational hurts, unmet expectations and disappointment in ourselves.  We believe that we ought to have been treated some way and we were not, we expected one person to react this way but he/she reacted that way, we believed by this point in our lives we would have achieved this accomplishment or milestone (i.e., marriage, promotion, financial independence, etc.) and we have not, we sin and we are upset with ourselves for still struggling with the same old thing.  The examples are endless.  Pain can be the catalyst to growth or a stumbling block on the path to spiritual wholeness.  It can increase our prayers or cease them.  It can elevate the intensity of our worship or it can cause us to sit while the rest of the congregation carries on.  Pain can be the result of maturation of our faith (dying to self) or the result of the degradation of our faith (living in continual and willing sin).  Pain is the symptom of every emotional sickness which the Great Physician brings to the surface of our lives to begin the long process of healing the inner wounds and defects of our hearts.

I think of the moments of Christ's life where He experienced profoundly deep pain.  He wept bitterly at the death of Lazarus because He had lost His friend.  He was in so much agony in the garden when He prayed that its said that He was sweating and crying blood.  He longs for His children to live together in obedience to Him and in unity, but they do not.  "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to father your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!" (Luke 13:34 NIV)  In the most emotionally and spiritual painful event in the history of mankind, Jesus cries out "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46 NIV).  Though these are just a few examples of Christ's pain, Christians can conclude that the life of Christ was marked by suffering and pain beyond our human comprehension.

Therefore, I have found this one solace in experiencing pain regardless of its cause or its result.  I have found that in experiencing pain, I can identify with Jesus.  In experiencing pain, I can confidently go before the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16) and identify with my risen Lord.  I can say, "Jesus, I do not enjoy this pain but I know that You did not enjoy yours either.  You were fully human like me, but in Your perfection You did not sin in your pain.  We have pain in common, God.  Please use this pain to bring us closer together as we are going though something together.  Only this time Jesus, please let me respond to pain like You did and still do: without sinning.  Help me to honor You in my pain, regardless of its cause or its result."  A broken spirit and a contrite heart God will not despise - He enjoys answering prayers like these.

The "problem of pain" (as C.S. Lewis refers to it) can be debated and argued in small groups and seminaries until the end of time.  The true story here is that no matter how much we argue and debate, pain is with us in our humanity until Christ returns in His divinity.  Let us all respond well.  Amen.

Jesus and the Bad Girls Club

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I was at the gym today, working out without headphones to listen to the television or music.  I sometimes choose to do this to allow my thoughts to flow without interruption or influence from outside sources.  Though music often helps me remain energized when I exercise, it is equally as refreshing to me to have my mind flow freely without influence.  Going to the gym then becomes as much as a cognitive exercise as it is a physical one.

That is not to say that I am not somewhat distracted by the television screens that are all around me.  The "Oxygen" network was airing at the gym and the show "The Bad Girls Club" was on.  I am not very familiar with the program.  I know that the show consists of women behaving poorly while wearing very revealing clothing.  While this may appeal to the carnality of men, my spirit does not enjoy watching these types of shows.  Frankly, it upsets me.  Most of these women would benefit from some deep healing, really good therapy and perhaps some psychotropic drugs.

Watching these women behave in such inappropriate and childish manners caused me to think about the a majority of the television programming that Americans view regularly.  Reality television shows like "The Bad Girls Club," "Jersey Shore," "Housewives of _________(insert wherever here)," "The Bachelor," and even "Survivor" all seem to maintain its audiences by attracting them with the sin of others.  It seems that most Americans, including Christians, find others' sin to be enjoyable entertainment.  We find the ridiculous appealing because it supports the defense of "at least we aren't that bad."  Perhaps we enjoy these shows because we will not allow such immorality in our own lives; we can view these programs to vicariously experience the consequences of decisions our sinful nature longs to make yet our fear of the consequences will not permit.  Or maybe Americans are sadistic and enjoy watching the spiritual, emotional and physical suffering of others.

It does not surprise me that the world would highlight and glorify sin through mainstream media.  Why wouldn't the world do that?  Sin is the world's master and Satan its prince.  It does surprise me that so many of us Christians watch these shows without second thought of their impact on our own spirits and hearts.  God has always been more concerned with the matters of the heart than He has with the outward signs of our allegiance to Him.  What good are the words of our mouths if the meditations of our hearts are displeasing to Jesus?  Delighting and finding entertainment in the sin of others is equally as offensive to the righteous God who has set standards of conduct for our betterment and protection.  Ultimately, what about these programs do we find entertaining? We have to ask ourselves these questions because we are held to a higher standard because the Spirit of Christ dwells within us.  Furthermore, the world holds us to a higher standard of conduct and attitude because we claim to reflect the light of the God of the Universe.

Many will state that I am making a mountain out of a molehill.  I am absolutely willing to admit that I am convicted by my own words.  I am an avid Netflix user and enjoying watching shows like "Bones," "Law and Order SVU" and "In Plain Sight."  These dramas all include immoral behaviors and perspectives.  Still, my intention in writing this post is not to be the legalistic television police to make Christians feel guilty for watching a certain television show.  My intention, however, is to push us to ask ourselves the hard questions.  Why do I find this program entertaining? Does this feed my spirit or my flesh?  What is God's opinion of this show?  Reality programming offers a unique line of questioning, supposing that the shows are not all scripted and may potentially involve the hearts and lives of real people rather than actors playing real people.  Jesus loves the women of "The Bad Girls Club" and wants to transform their hearts so they no longer fit in with that club.  Jesus desires to speak to the hearts of the women on "The Bachelor" to tell them they do not have to line up to win the heart of one man who will enjoy manipulating and neglecting their hearts.  He wants to be their Rose of Sharon.  The examples go on.

I have a lot of growth that I need to experience in this area of my life and faith walk with God.  Perhaps we can all work towards gaining more integrity in even the seemingly unimportant areas of our lives (like television).  True story. 

Share my faith?! But I have to pee!

This is not Frank.
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I am still adjusting to my new work schedule of working overnight shifts.  I oftentimes overestimate my ability to rapidly adapt to new or challenging situations.  I am transitioning from nine to five office work to overnight emergencies and strange scheduling changes.  Now it is a matter of learning when I go to the store, when I go to the gym, when I clean and do laundry.  I am still learning when I am supposed to sleep.  Due to my "nocturnal confusion", I am not always the happiest of campers after being up all night.

I decided to run errands after work yesterday.  I have to get some work done to my car and I have been getting estimates from various shops.  After visiting a few shops, I regretted drinking too much caffeine and coffee on the overnight shift - I had to find a bathroom to use.  As I drove past a Starbucks, I thought that I should stop to use the bathroom, but decided to press onward until I reached the next stop on my list of shops to visit.  When i reached the next auto body shop, the bathroom was in use the entire time I was there.  I decided that even if that bathroom became available, it would probably be wise for me to find another bathroom to use.  I drove back to the Starbucks, thankful for the relief to come.

I got out of my car and saw a man dressed in multiple layers of overly dirty clothing suited for a Christian Children Fund's commercial.  I knew what this meant.  If there was a homeless or impoverished man in a public place, Jesus was going to have me talk to him.  He always does that.  It's almost as if He expects me to love other people when it is inconvenient for me.  It's almost as if He wants me to be a good witness or something.  And normally, I am okay with that.  However, I had to pee and I hadn't slept.  "Lord, please not today."  I walked right past the man and right to the bathroom.  "Oh, this is too good to be true," I thought.

I walked out of the Starbucks and towards my car.  I walked right past the man, whom I tried to sneak behind quietly but quickly.  "God, please not today."  I was almost at my driver door when the man called out to me, "Do you have some money for coffee?"  I froze in my tracks and looked at the man with what must have been a facial expression of utter exhaustion and slight annoyance.  I checked my pocket for money.  "God, maybe I spent it all."  Nope.  Three dollars.  Just enough for a coffee at Starbucks.

I stopped giving money to people on the street a long time ago.  Cash in the hand of the addicted and the afflicted is like a small item in the hand of a baby.  Eventually, someone is going to choke and someone is going to have to come to the rescue (tax payers, EMTs, parents, etc.).  However, I was tempted to just fork out the cash this time.  I knew better.  "Sure, I can buy you a coffee."  "How about a hot chocolate?" he asked.  Seriously?  "Sure, hot chocolate."

I get in line and a stocky Italian guy gets in line behind me.  I mean, I'm a stocky Italian guy too but this guy had a nose that the rest of his face orbited and cheeks to match.  His friends probably called him "Vinny the Hand" or "Bobby Two Time" or something like that.  Without introduction or appropriate social cue, he blurted, "I see Frank roped you in here too."  It took me a few seconds to comprehend what he was saying and to determine who Frank could possibly be.  I was annoyed that this guy was talking to me too and even more irritated that he might be criticizing me for buying the possibly homeless overly dressed smelly man named Frank a hot chocolate at Starbucks.  "Yeah, I guess," I replied.  Rocky Balboa's fatter cousin supported me when he said, "He's a regular around here.  We all buy him something every now and then.  He got me the other day.  Sad thing is that he's actually rich and owns properties throughout Florida.  No one knows why he lives the way he does.  The paper did a story on him a couple months ago."  Tony the Hand and I talked about this for a few minutes.  "Don't get any whipped cream on his hot chocolate, he doesn't like it."

I ordered a hot chocolate without whipped cream and the guy behind the counter gave me a look.  He knew that Frank the Tank outside of the Starbucks had "roped me in."  I felt like a fool.  Exhausted, grumpy, and buying a drink for a man who has more money than most of us will ever earn.  This had to be a cosmic joke.  I walked outside with the hot chocolate, went to my car to grab a "Knowing God Personally" booklet and brought both the drink and the track to Frank.

Forty minutes later, Frank was still talking to me about politics, racial discrimination, neighborhood crime, and the perplexities of the human condition.  Trying to be a good Christian, I attempted to witness a few times (witness = share my faith) but Frank brushed over my "come to Jesus" comments and kept repeating the same conversation topics again and again.  Questioning the mental stability of my new friend and my mental stability after going too many hours without sleep, I finally left.  I texted Lauren later on and she asked me what I was still doing up.  I told her I got caught up talking to a homeless guy (who may actually not be homeless after all) and she laughed the "this stuff only happens to you" laugh.  I did too, but only because I wasn't still talking to Frank.

So I am reading Jeremiah in the Bible now.  In Jeremiah 8 and 9, Jeremiah says that he is crushed, in mourning and horrified at the spiritual condition of his people and their fate because of their disobedience (Jer. 8:21-22, Jer. 9:1-2).  I noted in my journal the following:

"As I read through Jeremiah, I am impressed by Jeremiah's sensitivity to the brokenness of his people.  They are lost in sin and refuse to repent, they are stubborn and frankly, irritating.  Yet, Jeremiah mourns for them.  God, I don't mourn for anyone but me.  Help me to not be so self centered."


And then I reflected upon my time with Frank.  Did I really mourn for his condition?  A man with enough resources to care for himself but yet does not?  A man who swore worse than any sailor (I've never hung out with sailors so I don't really know how much they curse) and is ignorant of the Gospel?  Was my heart broken for this man or was I lost in the land of "I'm tired, woe is me, I'm not going to let my light shine before men?"  Sure, I stayed and chatted with him for forty minutes, but I did not delight in knowing this man or his story.  I was doing my duty, fulfilling my obligation.  God granted me an opportunity to be Jesus to Frank and instead I was a Starbucks barista.  The difference between playing barista and being Jesus in this situation is attitude and intention.  My attitude was not to love, my intention was to get the heck out of dodge without feeling guilty on the way home.

I want to be like Jeremiah, you know?  I want to care about people so much that I cry if they suffer.  I want to mourn if people do not know Jesus.  I want to celebrate with them when they are happy and weep with them when they are sad.  I want that all to be real; I want it all to be a genuine expression of my deeply rooted fellowship with the Holy Spirit.  How many opportunities to "be Jesus" do we miss in an effort to be an efficient and impersonal facsimile disciple?  We love drive-thru salvation calls at churches, quick emails about prayer requests, and diluted devotionals and digital commentaries that can easily be searched on our tablets or smart phones.

Frank did say one thing that stuck with me.  "Steve, I can tell that you are a decent guy, that you don't look down on people.  Not everyone is like you."  I am thankful that Frank is not God, that he could not see the meditations of my heart.  God used our seemingly unimportant conversations about politics, news, and neighborhood crime to keep Frank company for forty minutes or so.  And he used the conversation as a tool to remind me of Jesus' character and the qualities of His prophets.  He also reminded me to never pray to not be used.  It's an easy way to have God not answer a prayer.

We are Jesus' prophets, His representatives today.  Let's learn from our lamenting prophet, Jeremiah, and love people until it hurts.  He calls us to love everyone, even the supposedly unlovely.  True story.