I'll have a Jesus pizza, please

http://mypizzabrothers.com/

The Lord has called His children to honor Him in all facets of their lives. Our spiritual, emotional, intellectual and physical health can blend together into a pleasant aroma of surrender and sacrifice. However, if we focus on one area of wellbeing and ignore the others then we will live an unbalanced life. No one can claim to be well because they are in good physical shape if they are destined for the gates of hell. No one can state they have peace in their hearts when they have familiarized themselves with a variety of philosophies but have ignored their heart in the process. God created us to surrender all facets of our lives to His perfection so He may lead us into balanced, healthy and holistic living.

God has been instructing me to honor Him by eating healthfully for years. I have ignored this call for as long as possible, but in the past five months I have done my best to be obedient. Because of God’s mercy and the support of those that He has placed in my life, I have been allowed much success in honoring God with my body. However this past weekend, I indulged in foods that I should not. I found myself at the throne of the almighty pizza, making sacrifices to the demigod of the delivery man and enjoying the communion of dough, cheese, and sauce. And after I spent quite some time in Italian food worship, I felt the fullness of digestive trouble and stomach expansion. Those are the fruits of the pizza spirit. And when I woke up the next morning, I experienced the very serious conviction of a man who willfully disobeyed God in an area where he has been called to obey.

There is a certain feeling that Christians experience when they willingly sin and disobey the Lord. Though the immediate gratification of sin delays this sensation, the deeply seated grief and conviction that comes as a consequence of disobedience can be intense. Regardless of our sin of choice, if we are in genuine community with the Holy Spirit He will ensure to remind us that He cannot be present with us if we choose to obey Satan. Evil cannot stand to be in the presence of righteousness, just as darkness cannot also be concurrently present with light. The Holy Spirit’s radiance will cast away the darkness, but if we invite darkness we have therefore rejected His light.

The conviction we experience after sinning is designed to bring us to repentance. God does not use this feeling to beat us up, but rather to restore us to His love and kindness. There is no place that God’s loving kindness cannot reach, but He disciplines those He loves with deep conviction until we can no longer endure prodigality.

I love this about God. He is persistent and consistent. He seeks after the one sheep who left the remaining 99 and does not rest until it is found. Sometimes He will stop pursuit and allow us to experience the wretchedness and destruction of our sin. He will allow us to hurt and suffer so we can recognize that His commands to obedience are not to feed His own ego but to provide the best for His children. Conviction is a blessing from the Lord. When I sin and feel convicted, I rejoice in knowing that the Holy Spirit loves me enough to discipline me to restore me to peace.

Most recently I have prayed that I could feel this conviction at all times, regardless of the presence of sin. I prayed that I could be so filled with the Holy Spirit that I would experience conviction before I commit an evil act. The thought of disobedience ought to be enough to lead me to repentance, not the actual act of wrongdoing. I wonder if this "preventative" conviction was the type of conviction with which Jesus walked. I imagine that Jesus was so consumed by His Father’s business that even the notion of disobedience caused him nausea. This type of conviction would compel us to be consistently reliant upon God’s grace and to flee from the thought of self sufficiency.

We can take time to examine our hearts. What areas of our wellbeing do we focus on more than others? What facets of our lives need the most development? What sin do we choose to commit more than others? How do we find ourselves responding to this disobedience? What feelings do we experience when we do something we ought not to do?

When we take time to identify the areas where we are disobedient, then we can examine the responses our hearts have to this disobedience. If we find ourselves convicted, we can make the necessary adjustments to increase our ability to obey Jesus. We can also ask God to change our hearts to desire Him more than evil. We can ask Him to share His heart with us so we can inherit a heart that hates evil and rejoices in righteousness.

Some of us may make some serious changes, like ending a relationship or changing jobs. Others may make seemingly smaller yet equally as significant changes, like not ordering pizza or keeping a cleaner house. Wherever you are called to go and whatever you are called to do, Jesus is there to show you how His love is much more satisfying than worshipping at the altar of the pizza delivery man. True story.

Circumcision, innards and other pleasantries

I have not written in my blog for quite an extensive amount of time because the Lord has been intensively working on my heart. There are times when the walls of a house need to be repainted and adjustments need to be made so a home is a safe structure. There are also times when the condition of the home has reached the point where professionals decide that the house ought to be demolished because the home is unsafe and unfit for healthy and happy living.

The Lord recently revealed to me that he was not going to only make adjustments to my heart, but was going to demolish the current structure and rebuild. I write this not to imply that the Lord made errors during His initial construction of my heart. Like a home is affected by the winds, rains, and conditions of its environment, my heart had been stained by the mire of the world and damaged by the storms of neglected hurts and ignored assaults. The platitudes of "Let go, let God" and "God will make a way" blanketed the severity of the injuries to my heart and mind, forcing a feigned positivity rather than a genuine reflection and appreciation of the experiences of my past and the propensities of my soul and mind. Over the past few weeks, I have welcomed Jesus’ restorative hand as He exposes truth to me. As I grow in my faith, Jesus deepens my appreciation and understanding of His comment that the truth sets us free. He not only sets us free from sin and eternal captivity in hell, but also from the rotten fruit of unintentional and fleshly living. Jesus first frees us from sin’s grip; He then frees us from ourselves and our natural inclination to reject all that is holy and to be the master of our supposed domain.

As the Lord continues to renovate my heart, the lens by which I perceive the events of daily living evolves. Suddenly seeking a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" story in each of my days seems irrelevant without a prescription to heal the illnesses of the soul. Chicken soup only helps the body when a practical means to propel growth and healing exists, such as medical treatment and rest. I am learning that each of my "True Stories" can be enhanced by practical application and Holy Spirit led instruction to find rest in His Kingship. Our heart delights in encouraging quips and accounts of superficial spirituality, but it is troubled by the truth of our own mediocrity and the evasion of spiritual circumcision. I will attempt to blend both quip and circumcision, which will most likely result in short accounts that literally and metaphorically cut at our flesh. And I will also avoid using terms like circumcision, because no one smiles when they read that word.

Thank you for your patience and allowing me time to find rest in Jesus and sometimes in my mattress. I look forward to growing with you as we seek out the truth in all matters and practically apply this truth to the innards of our hearts. And I will also avoid using the word "innards," because it too does not sound very pleasant.